So it's the end of the worst year ever and also the end of a not so good decade.
Damn I'd go back to 1999 in a second. So much has changed in the past decade...
I graduated from both High School and College, not that either of those things matter seeing as I am presently unemployed and broke as a joke. I owe more people than I can count and it's depressing.
I had my first, second and third boyfriends in the past decade, they were all crap in their own ways and all had one thing in common... they broke up with me, breaking my heart and leaving me hating myself, them and my life. I've decided to give up on finding a relationship and despise all the happy people of the world, this may include you but oh well stop being happy and we can commensurate together.
I had a few great jobs and a lot of crappy ones in the past decade. I discovered my love of hospitality, too bad it turned on me more than once as I have been fired from 2 hotels, let go from one that I really didn't like anyways and quit another. I did have some sports jobs thrown in that were fun while they lasted but they usually only lasted anywhere from one day to one week so it wasn't all that great. I did meet the entire 2003 Chicago Cubs team, even though they let me down and I cried.
I met some great people in the past decade, I don't talk to most of them anymore, but they served their purpose at the time. People usually don't stick around, they usually find some guy that will eventually screw them over and leave me until they realize the dude was a prick then they come back and talk to me until the next one comes along. This sad saga includes my amazing gay friends of the past decade.
During the past decade I became legal to start drinking, which I really did wait till my 21st birthday to drink. I have had my ups and downs when it came to my alcohol consumption and I also got over it pretty quickly but during the middle of this decade you could find me at Fitz's in Elmhurst just about every Thursday night, back when I used to drink, dance and make-out with random guys... ah the "good ol' days". Now you barely catch me at a bar and there is rarely a time that I am falling on my face drunk. I was also kicked out of bars for the first time this decade, 3 of them actually while rooting against the Chicago White Sox in 2005 during the World Series, people didn't appreciate it and I was tossed, how rude!
I got my first cars this past decade and into my first car accident. My frist car was $300 and was a 1989 Mercury Tracer 2dr Hatchback ... which was quickly nicknamed "The BeanerMobile" by anyone that ever had to climb through the passenger window to get into it or heard it coming down the block, as I had a horrible muffler! It was also burnt reddish/orange, had a patch of bondo on the side, the radio didn't work, it had a gas leak that made the car reek and the previous owners kid put Chicago Bulls stickers all over the car LOL
As my college graduation present to myself I bought a 2004 Saturn Ion Quad Coupe in silver, which was nicknamed Trish Bella Ion. Trish was bought June 30, 2004 and was hit by a school bus July 7, 2004. It was a tragedy but a little over a month over I got my car back and well she's just never been the same. This year she was paid off so I officially own her.
I had my first surgeries in the past decade. The first one i had to fight with the doctors to even do. While at work one day I had lost the feeling in my left hand, by the end of the week it was my entire left side of my body. We found a lump in my left breast which after a biopsy was proven to be nothing at the time but the doctor said "lets watch it to see if it becomes cancerous" WHAT?! First of all this thing is sitting on a nerve so that I can not use my left arm and you want to see if maybe someday I get cancer? Stupid doctors. So we had it removed and he said "good thing we got it out it was the size of a large golf ball" Idiot!
My second surgery was this past year when, as you all know, I fell down that damn stairs at the Sofitel and had my knee surgery. They found that my kneecap was turned and they had to realign it, it still hurts a lot so whatever.
The past decade welcomed many babies, including my cousin Emma, my Shorty Jackson and his brother Tyler, our baby girl Kalia and my little princesses Lexie and Becca! They are all so cute but my mother still wants "real grandchildren" which I don't think will ever happen since we are all huge disappointments ... there is some hope in Lauren Marie but it doesn't look like it will be anytime soon for her either.
I moved out during the past decade, got my own place which I love. I don't know how much longer I will be here though since when you don't have a job you can't afford crazy things like rent and electricity! I will never move home though, like I said I own my car and I could probably survive in there for awhile.
I traveled a little bit this past decade, I finally go to go to New York when the Sofitel sent me for a concierge convention. I went to Houston when I met a pilot at a friends wedding and he had me flown out to visit. Both of those trips I went to baseball games so that rocked. Jeff Santo flew me out to see him in Las Vegas, but I really didn't spend time with him. I also went to Vegas to celebrate my cousins 30th birthday. I went to Arizona to visit a friend I hadn't seen a few years at the time and we had a big family vacation to Hawaii.
Well that's my decade in a nutshell. I am not, nor have I ever been a fan of the holiday or celebration of New Year's Eve so I will be spending the night alone in bed like every other year. It is one of the more depressing holidays when you are single and can't afford to get drunk. New Year's Eve is for drunken idiots and kissing couples I'm better off crying in bed and hating my life.
Have Fun, Be Safe,Happy New Year!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Saturday, December 12, 2009
"Put One Foot in Front of the Other"
"Put One Foot in Front of the Other"
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you'll be walkin' 'cross the floor
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you'll be walkin' out the door
You never will get where you're goin'
If you never get up on your feet
Come on there's a good tailwind blowin'
A fast walkin' man is hard to beat
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you'll be walkin' 'cross the floor
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you'll be walkin' out the door
If you want to change your direction
If your time of life is at hand
Well don't be the rule be the exception
A good way to start is to stand
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you'll be walkin' 'cross the floor
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you'll be walkin' out the door
If I want to change the reflection
I see in the mirror each morn
(Oh you do)
You mean that it's just my election
(Just that)
To vote for a chance to be reborn
You put one foot in front of the other
And soon you'll are walkin' 'cross the floor
You put one foot in front of the other
And soon you'll are walkin' out the door
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you'll are walkin' 'cross the floor
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you'll be walkin' out the door
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you'll be walkin' 'cross the floor
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you'll be walkin' out the door
You never will get where you're goin'
If you never get up on your feet
Come on there's a good tailwind blowin'
A fast walkin' man is hard to beat
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you'll be walkin' 'cross the floor
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you'll be walkin' out the door
If you want to change your direction
If your time of life is at hand
Well don't be the rule be the exception
A good way to start is to stand
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you'll be walkin' 'cross the floor
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you'll be walkin' out the door
If I want to change the reflection
I see in the mirror each morn
(Oh you do)
You mean that it's just my election
(Just that)
To vote for a chance to be reborn
You put one foot in front of the other
And soon you'll are walkin' 'cross the floor
You put one foot in front of the other
And soon you'll are walkin' out the door
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you'll are walkin' 'cross the floor
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you'll be walkin' out the door
"We're a Couple of Misfits"
"We're A Couple of Misfits"
We're a couple of misfits
We're a couple of misfits
What's the matter with misfits
That's where we fit in
We're not daffy and dilly
Don't go 'round willy nilly
Seems to us kinda silly
That we don't fit in
We may be different from the rest
Who decides the test the ones that really best
We're a couple of misfits
We're a couple of misfits
What's the matter with misfits
That's where we fit in
Why am I such a misfit
I am not just a nitwit
I'm a dear of a reindeer
Why don't I fit in
Why am I such a misfit
I am not just a nitwit
They can't fire me I quit
Seems I don't fit in
We may be different from the rest
Who decides the test the ones that really best
We're a couple of misfits
We're a couple of misfits
What's the matter with misfits
We're a couple of misfits
We're a couple of misfits
What's the matter with misfits
That's where we fit in
We're not daffy and dilly
Don't go 'round willy nilly
Seems to us kinda silly
That we don't fit in
We may be different from the rest
Who decides the test the ones that really best
We're a couple of misfits
We're a couple of misfits
What's the matter with misfits
That's where we fit in
Why am I such a misfit
I am not just a nitwit
I'm a dear of a reindeer
Why don't I fit in
Why am I such a misfit
I am not just a nitwit
They can't fire me I quit
Seems I don't fit in
We may be different from the rest
Who decides the test the ones that really best
We're a couple of misfits
We're a couple of misfits
What's the matter with misfits
That's where we fit in
"Heat Miser"
"Heat Miser"
I'm Mr Green Christmas, I'm Mr Sun
I'm Mr Heat Blister, I'm Mr 101
They call me Heat Miser
Whatever I touch, starts to melt in my clutch
I'm too much
He's Mr Green Christmas, He's Mr Sun
He's Mr Heat Blister, He's Mr 101
They call me Heat Miser
Whatever I touch, starts to melt in my clutch
He's too much
I never wanna know a day that's under 60 degrees
I'd rather have it 80. 90, 100 degrees
Oh some like it hot but I like it really hot
He's Mr Green Christmas, He's Mr Sun
He's Mr Heat Blister, He's Mr 101
They call me Heat Miser
Whatever I touch, starts to melt in my clutch
I'm too much
Too much
I'm Mr Green Christmas, I'm Mr Sun
I'm Mr Heat Blister, I'm Mr 101
They call me Heat Miser
Whatever I touch, starts to melt in my clutch
I'm too much
He's Mr Green Christmas, He's Mr Sun
He's Mr Heat Blister, He's Mr 101
They call me Heat Miser
Whatever I touch, starts to melt in my clutch
He's too much
I never wanna know a day that's under 60 degrees
I'd rather have it 80. 90, 100 degrees
Oh some like it hot but I like it really hot
He's Mr Green Christmas, He's Mr Sun
He's Mr Heat Blister, He's Mr 101
They call me Heat Miser
Whatever I touch, starts to melt in my clutch
I'm too much
Too much
"Snow Miser"
"Snow Miser"
I'm Mr. White Christmas, I'm Mr. Snow
I'm Mr. Icicle, I'm Mr Ten Below
Friends call me Snow Miser
Whatever I touch turns to snow in my clutch
I'm too much
He's Mr. White Christmas, He's Mr. Snow
He's Mr. Icicle, He's Mr Ten Below
Friends call me Snow Miser
Whatever I touch turns to snow in my clutch
He's too much
I never wanna know a day that's over forty degrees
I'd rather have it 30,20,10, 5 and then let it freeze
He's Mr. White Christmas, He's Mr. Snow
He's Mr. Icicle, He's Mr Ten Below
Friends call me Snow Miser
Whatever I touch turns to snow in my clutch
Too much
Too much
I'm Mr. White Christmas, I'm Mr. Snow
I'm Mr. Icicle, I'm Mr Ten Below
Friends call me Snow Miser
Whatever I touch turns to snow in my clutch
I'm too much
He's Mr. White Christmas, He's Mr. Snow
He's Mr. Icicle, He's Mr Ten Below
Friends call me Snow Miser
Whatever I touch turns to snow in my clutch
He's too much
I never wanna know a day that's over forty degrees
I'd rather have it 30,20,10, 5 and then let it freeze
He's Mr. White Christmas, He's Mr. Snow
He's Mr. Icicle, He's Mr Ten Below
Friends call me Snow Miser
Whatever I touch turns to snow in my clutch
Too much
Too much
"I Believe in Santa Claus"
"I Believe in Santa Claus"
I believe in Santa Claus, like I believe in Love
I believe in Santa Claus, and everything he does
There's no question in my mind that he does exist
Just like love I know he's there waiting to be missed
I believe in Santa Claus, but there was a time
I thought I had grown too old for such a childish rhyme
He became a dream to me till one Christmas night
Someone stood beside my bed with a beard of white
So you're too old for Santa Claus, he said with a smile
Then you're too old for all the things that make a life worth while
For what is happiness but dreams and do they all come true
Look at me and tell me son, what is real to you
Just believe in Santa Claus, like you believe in Love
Just believe in Santa Claus and everything he does
Wipe that question from your mind yes he does exist
Just like love you know he's there waiting to be missed
Just like love I know he's there waiting to be missed
I believe in Santa Claus, like I believe in Love
I believe in Santa Claus, and everything he does
There's no question in my mind that he does exist
Just like love I know he's there waiting to be missed
I believe in Santa Claus, but there was a time
I thought I had grown too old for such a childish rhyme
He became a dream to me till one Christmas night
Someone stood beside my bed with a beard of white
So you're too old for Santa Claus, he said with a smile
Then you're too old for all the things that make a life worth while
For what is happiness but dreams and do they all come true
Look at me and tell me son, what is real to you
Just believe in Santa Claus, like you believe in Love
Just believe in Santa Claus and everything he does
Wipe that question from your mind yes he does exist
Just like love you know he's there waiting to be missed
Just like love I know he's there waiting to be missed
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Apparently...
Apparently I "paraphrased incorrectly" my mother claims she did not call me a slut tonight (doesn't mean she didn't imply it) and that it was my uncle that called me a fat ass not her (she didn't say I wasn't). The point really is that she allows it to happen. She says that I want to claim to be an angel while everyone around me is being so mean when really I am just as mean. Sure have I dished it back? I just said I did but of course I "should know better" since I am the "older one". Its OK for the 13 year old to call his sister a bitch and a whore. It's OK for my uncle to tell me I am a fat ass. It's OK for me to constantly feel bad about myself apparently.
FAMILY!
Seriously if I ever left my parents house NOT crying it would be a miracle.
The entire time I was there my bratty baby brother was telling me to go home, no one loves me and no one wants me around. My mother told me that I am chunky and that the costume I picked out for Halloween would not look good on me because I am too big for it and all I care about is having my boobs stick out like a slut.
So then I decided to watch TV, since no one was in the living room but apparently when the TV is off and no one is there it means Kevin is watching it. So for about 5min he continued to hit me in the head with his crutches and turn the TV off and tell me that I am a bitch and a whore and that I should just go home already.
Seriously if I didn't need the laundry that was in the dryer I wouldn't have stuck around. As soon as it was done though I was out and my mother had to say "why are you mad at me I didn't do anything to you I fed you" Little does she seem to know, or care, that I hate sitting at home with no job and have her tell me I'm chunky. A few weeks ago she told me I was a friendless bitch and no fun.
If I could afford it I would probably be an alcoholic, but that title belongs to my brother and sister who don't do a damn thing wrong. Neither one has a full-time job, nor do they want one. Neither one owns their own car, they fight over my mothers. Neither one has a degree, one dropped out of school and the other skips as many classes as possible. Neither one lifts a finger around the house but always have their hand out because they think they are owed so damn much.
I don't have a job, but its not by choice, up until this stupid knee injury I had worked everyday since my graduation from High School. I bought a crappy car until I could buy a nicer crappy car because I didn't want to always ask to leave. I moved out and despite not working I have been doing a damn good job of taking care of myself.
The verbal and sometime physical abuse I get from my family ... I just can't stand it. I try to remove myself from it but then I am just being a baby and having a hissy fit. But if I try to fight back when Kevin or someone is saying something or doing something to me I should know better since I am the oldest. I truly hate my life.
The entire time I was there my bratty baby brother was telling me to go home, no one loves me and no one wants me around. My mother told me that I am chunky and that the costume I picked out for Halloween would not look good on me because I am too big for it and all I care about is having my boobs stick out like a slut.
So then I decided to watch TV, since no one was in the living room but apparently when the TV is off and no one is there it means Kevin is watching it. So for about 5min he continued to hit me in the head with his crutches and turn the TV off and tell me that I am a bitch and a whore and that I should just go home already.
Seriously if I didn't need the laundry that was in the dryer I wouldn't have stuck around. As soon as it was done though I was out and my mother had to say "why are you mad at me I didn't do anything to you I fed you" Little does she seem to know, or care, that I hate sitting at home with no job and have her tell me I'm chunky. A few weeks ago she told me I was a friendless bitch and no fun.
If I could afford it I would probably be an alcoholic, but that title belongs to my brother and sister who don't do a damn thing wrong. Neither one has a full-time job, nor do they want one. Neither one owns their own car, they fight over my mothers. Neither one has a degree, one dropped out of school and the other skips as many classes as possible. Neither one lifts a finger around the house but always have their hand out because they think they are owed so damn much.
I don't have a job, but its not by choice, up until this stupid knee injury I had worked everyday since my graduation from High School. I bought a crappy car until I could buy a nicer crappy car because I didn't want to always ask to leave. I moved out and despite not working I have been doing a damn good job of taking care of myself.
The verbal and sometime physical abuse I get from my family ... I just can't stand it. I try to remove myself from it but then I am just being a baby and having a hissy fit. But if I try to fight back when Kevin or someone is saying something or doing something to me I should know better since I am the oldest. I truly hate my life.
Friday, August 7, 2009
I swear apparently the world does not revolve around me but the minute something goes wrong its my fault! If I ever did anything right in that family it would be a fucking miracle!
Lets take tonight.
I was getting dressed and ready for a night at the race track with my father, something I have never willingly done in my life, but it was for the $1 beers not the mistreated horses. I find out instead that my 13 year old brat of a brother is going and say no thanks. Why? I don't want to be the baby-sitter or be followed by the little asshole all night. I text the other girl that was going to go and she said that I made a wise choice, she also knows my brother is a brat and my dad likes to shrug off any and all responsibilities when it comes to his children.
Later in the night I stop at the house to show my mom a picture and my father and brother are still there. Apparently they got into a fight and it all started with MY HISSY FIT?! Are you kidding? Kevin starts a fight with my dad about wanting to bring a friend and its my fault since it started with me. So now instead of my dad going to the track until midnight he wants to go to the OTB until god knows when and again it all started with me.
When I said that I had wanted to go but I didn't want to be a baby-sitter they said that would never happen I said Marissa agreed they said of course she would becuase everyone has to feel sorry for poor Nicole.
I so hate my family. I didn't miss them when they were in Vegas last week, I was able to avoid the house and my stupid siblings. No one talked down to me or called me a bitch it was my own personal vacation.
Lets take tonight.
I was getting dressed and ready for a night at the race track with my father, something I have never willingly done in my life, but it was for the $1 beers not the mistreated horses. I find out instead that my 13 year old brat of a brother is going and say no thanks. Why? I don't want to be the baby-sitter or be followed by the little asshole all night. I text the other girl that was going to go and she said that I made a wise choice, she also knows my brother is a brat and my dad likes to shrug off any and all responsibilities when it comes to his children.
Later in the night I stop at the house to show my mom a picture and my father and brother are still there. Apparently they got into a fight and it all started with MY HISSY FIT?! Are you kidding? Kevin starts a fight with my dad about wanting to bring a friend and its my fault since it started with me. So now instead of my dad going to the track until midnight he wants to go to the OTB until god knows when and again it all started with me.
When I said that I had wanted to go but I didn't want to be a baby-sitter they said that would never happen I said Marissa agreed they said of course she would becuase everyone has to feel sorry for poor Nicole.
I so hate my family. I didn't miss them when they were in Vegas last week, I was able to avoid the house and my stupid siblings. No one talked down to me or called me a bitch it was my own personal vacation.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
A Night of Firsts
It was the most amazing date ever!
I have never been on a traditional first date so this was amazing.
We "met" on Yahoo Personals and have been talking for about a month via email, HE wanted to take things slow, which for a a dating website is unusual. I have never met anyone from the sites bc really all they have wanted to do is hook up.
He is 28 and lives in Joliet and is a buyer for Costco, he is currently still in school getting his Masters in Finance (i think I forgot oops!) He is 6'5 and YUMMY!
We met at the movie theater and we saw Monsters vs Aliens in 3D, since we have both admitted to being big kids, then he took me to Harry Caray's for dinner, since I love the Cubs (so does he!). Never a dull moment at dinner which was amazing, its nice to never really have a lull in the conversation. I offered to help with the bill, but he wouldn't have it! That's a first! Then we went back to my car and had a drink at Mortons (where I know everyone and they all approved). After that we went back out to the cars and he gave me purple tulips another first as I have never been given flowers before! He said he would have liked for the night to start out with the flowers but he didn't want me to carry them around all night. He told me that they were closed so as they opened I would think of him! AWE! I was totally in love. When he got home he sent me a text that he had a great time and that I was so beautiful. It was the best first date ever and I can't wait to see him again! I don't think I have stopped smiling!
Which is amazing in itself considering how I have been feeling the past few months!
I have never been on a traditional first date so this was amazing.
We "met" on Yahoo Personals and have been talking for about a month via email, HE wanted to take things slow, which for a a dating website is unusual. I have never met anyone from the sites bc really all they have wanted to do is hook up.
He is 28 and lives in Joliet and is a buyer for Costco, he is currently still in school getting his Masters in Finance (i think I forgot oops!) He is 6'5 and YUMMY!
We met at the movie theater and we saw Monsters vs Aliens in 3D, since we have both admitted to being big kids, then he took me to Harry Caray's for dinner, since I love the Cubs (so does he!). Never a dull moment at dinner which was amazing, its nice to never really have a lull in the conversation. I offered to help with the bill, but he wouldn't have it! That's a first! Then we went back to my car and had a drink at Mortons (where I know everyone and they all approved). After that we went back out to the cars and he gave me purple tulips another first as I have never been given flowers before! He said he would have liked for the night to start out with the flowers but he didn't want me to carry them around all night. He told me that they were closed so as they opened I would think of him! AWE! I was totally in love. When he got home he sent me a text that he had a great time and that I was so beautiful. It was the best first date ever and I can't wait to see him again! I don't think I have stopped smiling!
Which is amazing in itself considering how I have been feeling the past few months!
Monday, March 2, 2009
What do you see when you see me
When I look in the mirror I see a sad,scared, broken, abused little girl.
I see someone that wishes she could turn back the hands of time but isn't quite sure where she would go back to.
The girl in the mirror knows what its like to be afraid when her father was coming home. She knows what its like to taste soap when she talked back to her mother. She knows what it feels like to have mice in the house, lose everything she owned in a flood and wish her parents would get a divorce because she was tired of the fighting. She knows what it feels like to not have the electricity on, hot water running or dinner at night. The little girl grew up too fast when the house she grew up in was taken away. She knows what its like to watch her father cry and know it was all a lie.
The young lady she became was cold, she began to lose people that she loved. People moved away, people died, people lost touch. She never had anyone stick around. She began to compromise herself to make others around her happy. She never worried what it was doing to her as long as everyone else was happy. She missed out on things while she baby-sat at home. She bought things for people to keep them around, even if she was not wanted. She changed and did things so that others would like her and through it she lost herself.
The adult woman was hurt by anyone she trusted, her father, her uncle,her boyfriend. She began to question herself and wonder what she had done to deserve this. She bent over backward to make her boyfriend happy he repaid her by physically and sexually abusing her and she was so brainwashed she kept going back for more not wanting to lose him.
When that failed her she became a work-a-holic, constantly working and never getting any credit for all that she did. She continued to try to make boys happy by taking them places and buying them things, never receiving anything in return but hurt and betrayal. She was used as the other woman, sometimes the other woman wasn't even a woman at all but instead she was represented by drugs or alcohol always putting this poor girl second. When she cried she was told she was a drama queen, she was depressing, she should grow up, but she was grown up and no one wanted to listen or treat her as she should be treated.
This girl in the mirror is sad, she has lost herself trying to make others happy.
This girl in the mirror is scared, she doesn't know if she can feel happiness and love.
This girl in the mirror is broken, she has lost the drive and motivation to become something.
This girl in the mirror is abused, she feels she has no one to talk to and continues to beat herself up.
That is what I see when I look at me.
I see someone that wishes she could turn back the hands of time but isn't quite sure where she would go back to.
The girl in the mirror knows what its like to be afraid when her father was coming home. She knows what its like to taste soap when she talked back to her mother. She knows what it feels like to have mice in the house, lose everything she owned in a flood and wish her parents would get a divorce because she was tired of the fighting. She knows what it feels like to not have the electricity on, hot water running or dinner at night. The little girl grew up too fast when the house she grew up in was taken away. She knows what its like to watch her father cry and know it was all a lie.
The young lady she became was cold, she began to lose people that she loved. People moved away, people died, people lost touch. She never had anyone stick around. She began to compromise herself to make others around her happy. She never worried what it was doing to her as long as everyone else was happy. She missed out on things while she baby-sat at home. She bought things for people to keep them around, even if she was not wanted. She changed and did things so that others would like her and through it she lost herself.
The adult woman was hurt by anyone she trusted, her father, her uncle,her boyfriend. She began to question herself and wonder what she had done to deserve this. She bent over backward to make her boyfriend happy he repaid her by physically and sexually abusing her and she was so brainwashed she kept going back for more not wanting to lose him.
When that failed her she became a work-a-holic, constantly working and never getting any credit for all that she did. She continued to try to make boys happy by taking them places and buying them things, never receiving anything in return but hurt and betrayal. She was used as the other woman, sometimes the other woman wasn't even a woman at all but instead she was represented by drugs or alcohol always putting this poor girl second. When she cried she was told she was a drama queen, she was depressing, she should grow up, but she was grown up and no one wanted to listen or treat her as she should be treated.
This girl in the mirror is sad, she has lost herself trying to make others happy.
This girl in the mirror is scared, she doesn't know if she can feel happiness and love.
This girl in the mirror is broken, she has lost the drive and motivation to become something.
This girl in the mirror is abused, she feels she has no one to talk to and continues to beat herself up.
That is what I see when I look at me.
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