It was the most amazing date ever!
I have never been on a traditional first date so this was amazing.
We "met" on Yahoo Personals and have been talking for about a month via email, HE wanted to take things slow, which for a a dating website is unusual. I have never met anyone from the sites bc really all they have wanted to do is hook up.
He is 28 and lives in Joliet and is a buyer for Costco, he is currently still in school getting his Masters in Finance (i think I forgot oops!) He is 6'5 and YUMMY!
We met at the movie theater and we saw Monsters vs Aliens in 3D, since we have both admitted to being big kids, then he took me to Harry Caray's for dinner, since I love the Cubs (so does he!). Never a dull moment at dinner which was amazing, its nice to never really have a lull in the conversation. I offered to help with the bill, but he wouldn't have it! That's a first! Then we went back to my car and had a drink at Mortons (where I know everyone and they all approved). After that we went back out to the cars and he gave me purple tulips another first as I have never been given flowers before! He said he would have liked for the night to start out with the flowers but he didn't want me to carry them around all night. He told me that they were closed so as they opened I would think of him! AWE! I was totally in love. When he got home he sent me a text that he had a great time and that I was so beautiful. It was the best first date ever and I can't wait to see him again! I don't think I have stopped smiling!
Which is amazing in itself considering how I have been feeling the past few months!
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Monday, March 2, 2009
What do you see when you see me
When I look in the mirror I see a sad,scared, broken, abused little girl.
I see someone that wishes she could turn back the hands of time but isn't quite sure where she would go back to.
The girl in the mirror knows what its like to be afraid when her father was coming home. She knows what its like to taste soap when she talked back to her mother. She knows what it feels like to have mice in the house, lose everything she owned in a flood and wish her parents would get a divorce because she was tired of the fighting. She knows what it feels like to not have the electricity on, hot water running or dinner at night. The little girl grew up too fast when the house she grew up in was taken away. She knows what its like to watch her father cry and know it was all a lie.
The young lady she became was cold, she began to lose people that she loved. People moved away, people died, people lost touch. She never had anyone stick around. She began to compromise herself to make others around her happy. She never worried what it was doing to her as long as everyone else was happy. She missed out on things while she baby-sat at home. She bought things for people to keep them around, even if she was not wanted. She changed and did things so that others would like her and through it she lost herself.
The adult woman was hurt by anyone she trusted, her father, her uncle,her boyfriend. She began to question herself and wonder what she had done to deserve this. She bent over backward to make her boyfriend happy he repaid her by physically and sexually abusing her and she was so brainwashed she kept going back for more not wanting to lose him.
When that failed her she became a work-a-holic, constantly working and never getting any credit for all that she did. She continued to try to make boys happy by taking them places and buying them things, never receiving anything in return but hurt and betrayal. She was used as the other woman, sometimes the other woman wasn't even a woman at all but instead she was represented by drugs or alcohol always putting this poor girl second. When she cried she was told she was a drama queen, she was depressing, she should grow up, but she was grown up and no one wanted to listen or treat her as she should be treated.
This girl in the mirror is sad, she has lost herself trying to make others happy.
This girl in the mirror is scared, she doesn't know if she can feel happiness and love.
This girl in the mirror is broken, she has lost the drive and motivation to become something.
This girl in the mirror is abused, she feels she has no one to talk to and continues to beat herself up.
That is what I see when I look at me.
I see someone that wishes she could turn back the hands of time but isn't quite sure where she would go back to.
The girl in the mirror knows what its like to be afraid when her father was coming home. She knows what its like to taste soap when she talked back to her mother. She knows what it feels like to have mice in the house, lose everything she owned in a flood and wish her parents would get a divorce because she was tired of the fighting. She knows what it feels like to not have the electricity on, hot water running or dinner at night. The little girl grew up too fast when the house she grew up in was taken away. She knows what its like to watch her father cry and know it was all a lie.
The young lady she became was cold, she began to lose people that she loved. People moved away, people died, people lost touch. She never had anyone stick around. She began to compromise herself to make others around her happy. She never worried what it was doing to her as long as everyone else was happy. She missed out on things while she baby-sat at home. She bought things for people to keep them around, even if she was not wanted. She changed and did things so that others would like her and through it she lost herself.
The adult woman was hurt by anyone she trusted, her father, her uncle,her boyfriend. She began to question herself and wonder what she had done to deserve this. She bent over backward to make her boyfriend happy he repaid her by physically and sexually abusing her and she was so brainwashed she kept going back for more not wanting to lose him.
When that failed her she became a work-a-holic, constantly working and never getting any credit for all that she did. She continued to try to make boys happy by taking them places and buying them things, never receiving anything in return but hurt and betrayal. She was used as the other woman, sometimes the other woman wasn't even a woman at all but instead she was represented by drugs or alcohol always putting this poor girl second. When she cried she was told she was a drama queen, she was depressing, she should grow up, but she was grown up and no one wanted to listen or treat her as she should be treated.
This girl in the mirror is sad, she has lost herself trying to make others happy.
This girl in the mirror is scared, she doesn't know if she can feel happiness and love.
This girl in the mirror is broken, she has lost the drive and motivation to become something.
This girl in the mirror is abused, she feels she has no one to talk to and continues to beat herself up.
That is what I see when I look at me.
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